“Travelers who have crossed the Alps know how dangerous those mountain passes are, how narrow the foothold, how deep the rocky ravines. They know how necessary to safety it is that they look up continually. One downward glance into the dizzying depths might be fatal. So if we would surmount the heights of faith we must look up-look up. Take your eyes off yourself, off surrounding circumstances, off means, off gifts, and turn them to the Great Giver.”A.B. Simpson
i’ve been exercising a lot lately.
its no big deal, but its a pretty big deal so leave a comment if you’re proud of me.
but yesterday i was relieved to not have to go run when one of my bestie girls who i look up to the most asked me to go on a long walk. it was about an hour of talking through sparatic breaths and waiting to cross streets and nearly getting run over by people who were actually running, and poor thing, she talked about herself for maybe 10 minutes, and the rest was me babbling on about myself through confusion and mental exhaustion and frustration. the walk was all around Appalachian’s campus, and by the time we got back, new thoughts came clear. not in hoped for answers, but in the exact reminders and half thoughts that i needed to keep going. to come full circle back to a place that i have been to before, but then make it too complicated. go the long way. forget, and have to re-turn.
these are some thoughts from our walk, aka from her wisdom, that spoke straight into the depths of what I have been wearing myself out yet again to hear.
there is a lie that i have been buying into. so subtle, so alluring, so seemingly true.
you have to do cool big world changing things-start a ministry, go over seas and live without any resources, be Super Christian Woman- to validate your faith and prove your life is worth living. that it is only enough for God if you are radically sold out and seeking the next adventure right and left.
thank. God. i was reminded of Enoch. the human mentioned for two seconds in Genesis. “Enoch walked steadily with God. And then one day he was simply gone: God took him.” that is IT. that is all we know about that sweet thing. but later in the New Testament, what i have heard to be called “the hall fo faith”, he is included! because he walked with God, that was enough. God saw his heart, his faith, and that was what mattered.
it was enough to walk with God, intimately enjoying Him every day, adoring His Presence, becoming His friend, listening to His Voice.
i need to have grace for myself, because at least twice a year i wear myself out trying to formulate and grow myself and figure out and control, and beat myself up for forgetting yet again. for thinking of what needs fixing about myself. for focusing on the wind and waves, instead of the Calm and Rest Himself.
but i am brought back to the place that changed. EVERYTHING.
it. is. finished.
i am under grace. the curtain is torn so that i can love fully and be loved completely with nothing holding me back. everything else that is added to me or changed or that i accomplish and do is icing to knowing and walking with my Father.
it is mary and martha. for sure this is my absolute hands down favorite most applicable and relevant story to me. martha doing and proving and fixing and busy, mary being and resting and listening and enjoying. i just want to sit at his feet. i feel as i type those words that that is the absolute most true thing about me.
do not hear me say i don’t want to do any of these things or take the easy way out. the only thing i am taking is the pressure off. i want to do these things. I have always had a heart for adventure and for new and for big. but i believe that as i walk, He will lead me to them, and they will be icing on the cake.
why would i want to do amazing things in His name to be in the hall of fame, and miss knowing his heart, his voice directing my path, calling me to greater things in time, knowing the Name that says i am worthy and enough and already written in the hall of faith and the book of life, and nothing i will or will not do can change that. he WILL direct me. he WILL teach me how to love better. he WILL show me how to live. but i want my biggest accomplishment at the end of my life to be that i am able to say the Holy Spirit is my best friend.
He will accomplish what he started in me (phil 1:6). He will accomplish what concerns me (pslams 138:8). I just keep my eyes on Him and walk.
Matthew 6:30-34 (MSG)
30-33 “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
“Wisdom means to choose now what will make sense later. I am learning everyday to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be, to inspire me and not terrify me.”
― Tracee Ellis Ross